You wouldn’t necessarily think that being a personal trainer is a very funny job. But the truth is that my job is strange and so often times hilarious. The weirdest things happen to me on a daily basis. No matter what happens on the job I have to keep a straight face and act like whatever happened is totally normal. I need to make my client feel totally comfortable so that they can focus on their workout. I don’t want to be rude and laugh or act disgusted. For example I used to train a 80 year old woman who insisted upon working out in a threadbare nightgown. Yep, I’ve seen all of her belongings. Or the time I had to train a dude who only wore tighty whiteies while we did yoga. That means I was alone teaching him to exercise in his apartment and he was close to naked. He also liked to be left alone in the final relaxation pose. I was to take the money he left on the entry way table and leave. God only knows what he wanted to do when he was alone.
My favorite story is a phone call from a client trying to cancel. I had one in my first few years where a woman called and told me “I can’t leave, my dog is stuck to the driveway." I asked her how this could have possibly happened and she said her driveway was just recently re-tarred and the dog ran out and got stuck. Not buying it, I told her “Well, he’ll be there when you get back, see you at 3." Another was a gentleman who called and cancelled because he threw his back out. I always ask how someone did it to better know how to train them when they do come back in. “Well, I met this girl on Saturday downtown…” That was all I needed to know.
Some funny questions that I still don’t know how to answer…”Do you think it’s weird my friend still breast feeds her kid who is about to turn seven?" “What are the pounds per square inch of force generated by the leg extension machine if you move your leg at 4 miles an hour?" “How much can I drink (of alcohol) before I come in and workout”?
